My life was shining… that was before I met you … but now my life is glowing in glory because you are in it.
As one song says: “only miss the sun when it starts to snow” …
Literally, I’m sitting here on the carpet with my tea and a piece of chocolate in my mouth, winged from the bed while Judah (my baby) takes his nap … I’m sitting and writing these thoughts or feelings … the splendor of my life when living with Josh and how strange it feels to be without him. A day without him.
I think from the two of us, I’m the most dramatic … yes, I love the drama (I clarify, it’s not a disease, okay?), Although most of the time you looking at me and perhaps you describe me as “serious” especially being next to Josh’s. No problem, I think we are both dramatic but to different people… and that does not bother me at all hahaha!!
In our relationship, I’ve noticed that sometimes when it comes to some of our views and opinions of something when I want to make a deep conversation about something irrelevant when it comes to express all my emotions … etc. I look like a graduated in theatre hahaha!! And it’s okay, I think. I didn’t know that part of me until I met Josh. He has a way of being with me in those moments that makes me love him madly! Sometimes as I get upset and I’m just thinking in my mind (Why do you answer like that? nicer or better?) I’m not saying what I found him and everything and he was perfect and without mistakes, okay? (But almost 99% haha.) He is perfect for me and in the way he takes my heart.
When writing this doesn’t mean that I do not value him every day, but the reality is that it did make me remember the dramas that I do sometimes now that we are not together hahaha!! And also how sweet and brave he is!! …. at the end it’s always fun ☺… Two days ago we celebrated our 2 years of marriage! 2 years !!! It’s amazing how time goes by and we already grew as a family with Judah! These two years I have learned a lot! I learned about myself, from Josh and even more from God through Josh and our marriage.
Before I met Josh, I felt very independent, strong and knew almost everything … I thought I had everything under control and that I did not need anyone, in fact, I also grew up in a beautiful family, but even though, creating a family was not something paramount in my life :/ ups! Over time I realized that life is not only about creating things or projects with excellence but about creating something with love and value that transcends my generations.
So one day while we shared about our lives, our dreams, and minds … I had a thought… I need a man like him. I’m not placing him before God in my life, okay? …if not, I really value the gift that he is from God for to life. Because literally, getting to know him expanded my view and the meaning of life.
Yesterday Josh was not at home anymore (he went to Mexico to a conference) and so I was cleaning up some stuff and I found a notebook I had for years! and in the notebook, I had a list of what I wanted in a man as a husband and some prayers for him as well. Obviously, it was not a list of requirements, they were valuable things that I as a woman wanted in a man to share with in the future. I also found a list that was for me as a lady, I wrote all the things in which I wanted to grow, develop and become as a woman for the man I was dreaming.
That’s why I always say, be careful what you ask of God because he knows all things, he knows you very well and he always listens to you! and He gives us more than enough!
Two days ago it was our 2 year anniversary, and I was observing him just in front of me while we were celebrating in the restaurant, he was eating some things from his plate with his hands and licking his fingers he was really enjoying the food (I think) … while… I was on chopsticks as if I were Japanese by birth… Yes, he is the opposite of me, free, fun and confident anywhere!! (I didn’t tell him but I found him adorable doing that! – just that time ok? haha). He makes me laugh, and live, and be myself! and that’s why I love him!!! (Crying way because I miss him + a dash of drama)…
… but seriously, he’s perfect for me! Love intensely God, me, Judah and family, I admire him and I learn a lot from him! His attitude towards life is magic, his heart is firm and tender, patient but not passive, strong and vulnerable, fast but stable. He knows how to listen, to be silent, he knows to assume his mistakes and to apologize. He challenges me to grow, he touches my heart with his eyes, with his voice, his jokes and of course his love towards people. I could not ask for a better husband and father for Judah than this one!
Today I miss him because it is the first time that we will be in a long distance for a long time since we got married! It is super weird feeling!
Well … I’m saying goodbye now, but first, I just wanted to tell you … if you’re not married yet, ask God and think about the character and values you’re looking for in the person who will live with you for the rest of your life. Pray, trust, wait, and when you find, don’t try to change him (or her), just love him with madness!